Thoughts

I just had a slight freak-out moment. I was sitting on campus, revising some short stories for my creative writing class, when I remembered the slew of campus-related short story contests with deadlines in February. This caused the following train of thought:

Speaking of February, Amazon's annual Breakout Novel Award contest is in February.

Holy shit! February! That's two months!!

I wanted to have IE ready for it in February 2009 but I wasn't ready in time. I swore to myself I'd be ready in 2010.

Holy shit, I won't be ready in 2010! This time last year I was at the same point in my first draft as I am right now in my 2nd draft. I thought I could do it, but I couldn't. There's no way I can polish it by February.

Another year. ANOTHER. YEAR. that I haven't met any of my writing goals. Another year that I have sworn to myself I'd meet a deadline and I haven't.

Another year IE isn't done, when the 1st draft was 75% done in 3 months. The other 25% and 50% of the 2nd draft I have done now have taken about 16 months to finish. And I still have the rest of d2 and at least another draft.

Why can't I meet my goals? Will IE ever get finished?

I love IE. I want to finish it!!

Arrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!

.... and those were my thoughts. It's finals time, can you tell?

Finals and Writing

I'm making a small amount of headway toward finishing Providence. But to be honest, getting sick the first week of December and having finals the second and third weeks makes finishing a new novel tough. But I'm trying to work on it a little at a time so I don't lose momentum. Hopefully after my last final (A&P at 6pm on the 16th) I will get to finish it by the 31st!!

Finals... ugg. Any college student out there knows I don't even need to say anymore. But I will. Finals are actually going quite well. I have a portfolio for creative writing, a presentation and paper for linguistics, a non-cumulative test for A&P, and a website for web-writing. The website is due tomorrow so after I turn it in I can concentrate on Monday's presentation for linguistics then Wednesday's papers and exam. I'm loving web design, though I wish I had more graphics to work with from the company.

I'm also trying to finish my application to the University of Floriday graduate program and compile some pieces to send to IUPUI's literary magazine, Genesis. I'm working on a poem I'm calling Sophia's Song, which fans of IE will appreciate, and revising a short story I wrote two years ago that has been rejected by numerous magazines.

I'm getting caught up on bills since Mike made a fat paycheck on the 11th, but it'll still take us a bit to dig all the way out of the trenches of debt. It's hard keeping my head up, but I'm managing.

So that's the third week of December, 2009 in a nutshell. Wow, the year's gone by fast!!!

November

November 2009 FLEW by! I completed NaNo, reaching 50K words on the 28th, and am slowly working my way toward the end of my new novel, Providence. Finals are around the corner and I'm hunkering down to finish a web site for Insanity Pro Wrestling, a creative writing portfolio, a paper and presentation on the history of the English language, and get a smashing grade on my A&P final since I bombed the last test and watched my chances of getting an A go down the drain :( But hey, I wrote 3/4 of a novel, right?

Other things on my mind, in random order:

I ♥ Buffy.

I absolutely despise the little dog that lives in the house next door. I live on a corner so my backyard meets with three others, and all three houses have little dogs. They all meet at the corner (my dog included, when he feels like playing outside) and bark at each other. But, my dog isn't in the mix usually. And even when the other dogs aren't out, the one right beside my house is outside All. Damn. Day. And barks. ALL. DAMN. DAY.

I am getting over being sick. Monday was awful, and I thought for sure I had a severe flu. But by Tuesday it was just a nasty head/chest cold. Today, Friday, I feel much better, with just some sinusy stuff still going on.

Of course, I have to go pick up Austin from school in a couple hours, and I just found out that he has bronchitis and a sinus infection. ... Here's to being sick again next week!

Christmas is on the way but once again, we won't have the money to really do much.

Mike got a job!! Of course, we're still late on rent. But the landlord's pretty cool and says it's no big deal. And we won't be able to use any of his first paycheck for Christmas. It's just a bit too little, too late for that.

I ♥ Providence. ☺

5 months and 5 days til graduation!

I hate snow. I loathe it. It should be illegal. It hasn't snowed here yet, but it's going too.

Why Indiana?!?!

And I'm off to do some homework.

End of October

Tomorrow is Halloween. For the first time in a lot of years, I don't really care. I'm not dressing up, not throwing a party for the kids, and don't have any one to bring trick-or-treating. What shall I do with myself?

Well, I'll probably work on homework, since I have a 4 page paper due next Wed that hasn't been started, a whole website that has barely been started, and 2 chapters in anatomy that need read. Blah. Oh, and then I'll be getting ready for NaNo, which starts at midnight on November 1st.

Mandy and I have a midnight NaNo date ☺ Of course, midnight for her is 1am for me. I'll still be there.

I'll also be worrying myself to a tizzy about graduate school. Just when I thought I had it all figured out (psycholinguistics at the University of Florida -- go Gators!!) it was brought to my attention that a theoretical/research degree is only really good for one thing -- research. Oh, and teaching. Which is fun, but not necessarily good for a lifetime career. Possibly, but not necessarily. So, I've been e-mailing some experts at the U of F to see if there is something better suited for me. So far, I have thought about:

cognitive psychology
speech-language pathology
psycholinguistics

None of them are 100% what I want. SLP is the closest to a practical solution as I can get, but I don't want to be JUST a speech-language pathologist. Actually, I don't really want to be one at all. I just want to know some of the stuff an SLP knows so I can use it for research. If I could get a clinical license with cognitive psych, I might go that route, but it's even more theory-based than psycholinguistics. Oh, psh. Just when I thought I was set.... plenty more to think about.

Then there's my NaNo novel. All I know so far is that my protag, Quinn, is a struggling full-time romance writer who gets dumped by her long-term boyfriend and high-tails it to the ocean for inspiration, where she somehow runs into the paranormal side of life. I think my mMC's name will be Joss. I even had a last name for Joss, but I have forgotten it.

Oh, in good news, I wrote a poem. And I won 3rd place in a poetry contest! Which entitles me to a $100 gift certificate at Barnes and Noble! Wooo!!!

Maybe I should by some books about choosing a grad program/career....

Blah-ness

Today is "blah."

I couldn't sleep last night; around midnight, after finishing my book -- which was the only reason I had managed to stay up as long as I had since I was dreadfully tired -- I had the realization that the end of October is near. I'm one of those people who hates when time seems to fly by so quickly I feel unaccomplished, so I started thinking of the goals I had set for this year. Namely, I had wanted to complete the 2nd and 3rd drafts of IE. I figured I would aim for 10/31 (so I could concentrate fully on NaNo in November) and whatever I didn't manage to get finished I could finish up by 12/31. This is exactly what happened last year during the first draft. I started in April and wanted to finish by 10/31. I didn't, but from 12/1 to 12/31 I did finish. I really didn't think I would be only 6 chapters into the 2nd draft at this point in this year. Blah.

So, the point is: up all night. Extremely tired. I get VERY cranky when I'm tired. I think I'm low on iron, which would explain the excessive tiredness for the past few weeks. Blech.

Anyhow, shopping went well today -- bought 3 pairs of pants and a pair of boots. This is a HUUUUUGE deal for me, as I wear a large size pants in tall, and when I can find the width/style that fits, I inevitably can't find them tall enough. I feel like I'm fighting floods all year. And, I wear a size 13W shoe, which makes it impossible to find comfortable shoes. Thus, I wear sandals most of the year. It sucks when it snows. But today, I managed to find not one, not even two, but THREE pairs of boots in my size!!! I bought the black ones because they made my feet look the smallest, and called it a day. Very exciting. Very exhausting.

Now I'm home. Psych isn't on (sad face), I can't seem to concentrate on endochondral ossification so save my life, I'm extremely anxious about my failure to finish IE, and all I want to do is go to sleep but I have midterms next week. Double blah.

It's gonna be one of those weekends, I think....

Stretching those creative muscles... kind of

My husband is teaching himself the art of graphic design. Recently, he went from making flyers and posters for his wrestling company to actually getting PAID to make a flyer for a tattoo shop. It wasn't a lot, but he got paid to do something he loves to do. I'm so proud of him! I told him he should come up with a name for his graphic design "business," make a logo, and stick that on his work -- especially since the tattoo shop wanted to put his name and phone number on the flyer since they thought it was so good! We spent last night and part of today trying to come up with fun, creative, but professional names.

This got me thinking. I want a cool business name. But I don't have a business. It kind of sucks. Even when (note I said "when," not "if") I become a published author, I still don't get to make a unique name and a logo. It bummed me out. So, being the creative type I am, I decided to just come up with a name for something anyhow. I thought it would be fun, and kind of flex those artistic pipes a bit.

Now, I have been dabbling in web design. It started as a class for school and I am really interested in it. I have moved onto a bigger project, which is still for school but will continue even after the class is over: hubby's wrestling organization's website. That's a pretty big deal, and I don't want to mess it up, so I'm working really hard to do a great job. Anyhow, in my name/logo-jealousy fit, I decided to come up with a name for my soon-to-be successful web design career (haha... I would love to make money designing web sites, but I do have a bit more learning to do!!)

Today, between classes (my nothing-to-do-with-design classes, which are currently depressing me due to lack of wholehearted interest in the subjects), I started googling my ideas. You know, to see if anyone already had web design companies with those names.

My favorite name, which I figured off the bat would be taken, was Tangled Web, or even Untangled Web. I just loved the wordplay. Well, of course, they are both not only very popular names for companies, they happen to be popular names for web design companies. I figured. Still, I was disappointed. But I moved through my other names, even though there were only a few.

Color9 -- from a song I love. I thought it was so original (despite being from a song, but the song is like 10 years old so I really didn't think anyone would have the name). Not only was it a company name, it was a web design company name. Damn.

Creative Type (yes, this was based off an internal dialogue about my thought process leading to coming up with a name) -- taken. By a web design company.

Relative Youth -- not taken, but reminds me of Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson. Plus, while it is applicable to me and fresh on my mind due to a creative writing assignment, it doesn't say anything about web design.

I love oxymorons, and one of my favs of the moment is Fine Mess. However, that's the name of a Kate Voegele album (which I love!) and a few other things, so of course I couldn't use that. I love the word Chaos. But I can only come up with Orderly Chaos -- and really, do I want to use an -ly adverb, when I try so hard to abolish them from my writing?

That was it. I'm bummed. But, I still want to come up with a name. I don't really need one, though I would love to create websites on the side someday when I'm good enough... but I want one. And I want to make a logo. And I want to stick it on the few websites I am making for school and personal projects. Just for fun. It really does stretch my creativity, and I think it'll be a good exercise.

Now, since my favorite names are taken, what should I use?

....

Columbus, Who?

Today is Columbus Day.

It is a day world-wide nation-wide where people celebrate the joyous occasion of the first discovery of North America select Caribbean islands. The wild partying begins with fireworks

turkey

a festively decorated tree

hidden eggs

a moment of silence

….

How the hell do you celebrate Columbus Day?

Oh yeah, but stopping the mail. And the payment of unemployment checks and child support.

Why? What did Columbus do to deserve such monumental holiday status?

He failed to realize the earth was round, instead insisting it was pear-shaped and as such he could reach Asia quicker by travelling west than east. What did he intend to do when he reached Asia? Enslave the people and get better prices on important fossil fuels silk and gold. What did he do instead, when he reached the Bahamas and later Hispaniola? He carried diseases to the natives, whom he incorrectly called Indians, directly leading to the demise of a whole population. He definitely deserves some celebration, people.

Christopher Columbus discovered an island in the Western hemisphere, went to his grave believing he had found a new route to Asia (even though he didn’t encounter any of the silk or other merchandise that had arrived from Asia in the past), and went down in history as someone who discovered a continent… that had already been discovered by the Vikings.

Granted, many important discoveries were made accidentally – Post It notes, for example. LSD. Plenty of other stuff, I’m sure. But do we give national holidays – days when the unemployed don’t get paid and the waiting don’t get mail – to Spencer Silver or Albert Hofmann? No, we don’t. Why? Because they don’t deserve them. And coming from me, who is obsessed with Post Its, that’s saying something.

Plain and simple, Christopher Columbus doesn’t deserve a holiday. I’m glad he started an era of discovery, but I’m pretty sure America would have been on the map without him… since Leif Erikson had already found it by the time Columbus ever got into his little boat. Really, does every naïve person who stumbles upon something need a holiday?

Next thing you know, we’ll be celebrating Paris Hilton Day, where everyone starves themselves, loses a few hundred brain cells, and proclaims “that’s hot” every five minutes.

Geesh.

Off-Task

Do you ever write something you've already done on a list just so you can cross it off? I just did that, and it felt pretty good. I looked at my academic planner for the week and realized I wasn't very accomplished so far this week because I hadn't crossed anything off... then I realized I had barely written much down to begin with. So I started writing in things I had already done, just to cross them off. Now I feel much more accomplished for this week ☺

In other news, the next 51 days will be pretty busy for me. NaNo starts on Nov. 1, and I haven't done a lick of pre-planning for it. This will be my 2nd year attempting (I finished last year a hair above 50K words) but my first year doing it while being in school full-time. Should be fun. And, to add to that, I don't even know what I'll write. I was sick for 3 weeks in September so I got behind on everything -- schoolwork, writing, housework, Christmas stockings... everything. So, I think I'm gonna wing it for NaNo! Also, I'm headed to Florida on October 22!!! Going to check out the UF campus and linguistics program and try to make a decision about my future after graduation -- which is exactly 7 months away. That's still a ways off, but much closer than I've ever been (obviously)!! We'll be in Florida (hubby and I, that is) over our anniversary too, but will most likely spend that day on a long-ass plane trip and in and out of airports (8 hours for a 1.5 hour flight... not much faster than driving, it seems). Add a couple of final projects, including a website for IPW (Insanity Pro Wrestling, my husband's wrestling company), and extra IPW shows that I must attend due to an arrangement with said hubby.... oh, and holiday dinners! I love cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the fam... well anyhow, the next 51 days are going to be super busy.

But for now, I'm just trying to get through my list and cross everything out. And maybe get some extra done. Oh, and head to Kokomo to visit my grandpa, who had a stroke on Sunday. :( Busy, busy!!

Zombies, eh?

I'm reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by "Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith"... and it's very interesting. What's funny is, I have never actually made it through P&P all the way. Yet I seem to be more inclined to finish when zombies are involved. Weird, huh?

So this got me thinking. Maybe I could be on the NYT bestseller list just by revamping a classic (and if you use vampires instead of zombies, it's a true revamping!). Would you read:

Of Mice and Minions
War and Peace and Giant Killer Bees
Romeo and Juliet and Dracula
The Call of the Wild Werewolf
A Tale of Two Cities Ravaged by Bloodthirsty Beasts
Little Women and Warlocs
The Great Gatsby's Ghost
1984 Empty Graves
A Farewall to Arms... and Legs, and Heads...
Schindler's List of Abominations
To Kill a Mockingbird and Make Sure It Stays Dead

?

I would ☺
But seriously, I'm sensing a handful of short stories here... and that's not including the one about werefrogs in space!

Those are my thoughts for the moment. Someone should really get on these revisions. Maybe we'd get more high schoolers reading if the titles were along the lines of The Prince and the Pauper and the Witches Who Loved Them.

Ready!

Hair: cut and colored
Backpack: purchased and packed
Planner: bought and filled out (w/ the syllabus info I have already, of course -- I'm not telepathic)
New clothes: bought and put up
Dreamweaver: Learned and still learning
Laptop: researched and almost ready to buy ☺
Dog: bathed and teeth brushed

I think I'm ready for school to start on Wednesday!!

I'm not sure what the dog had to do with that... but I'm pretty proud to have accomplished all of that stuff today, and after sleeping in too. In my sweatpants, because today was the first day cool enough to wear them.

The only thing I still have to do before my senior year starts is... write. I'm working on a sci-fi short of 5K for a contest. Let's face it, "working on" it right now means I'm reading David Gerrold's "Worlds of Wonder: How to Write Science Fiction & Fantasy" and brainstorming. And it's due August 31. Gulp. But, no fear...

Oh, and I'm still stuck on a few chapters of IE revisions. Chapters 6-9 are giving me some trouble. I had planned on getting to at least 10, if not higher, before school started... it can still happen, if I can figure out these tiny issues. We'll see.

Otherwise, I'm ready!!!!!

Disenchantment

The high of ripping through several d2 chapters of IE is wearing off. Slowly but surely. A huge part of that is posting chapter 1 for fellow writers/readers to critique. Apparently, so far the vote is unanimous that some of the changes I made between d1 and d2 are not welcome.

Ollie is too lecture-y.
Sophia is too whiny.
Trent is too cold.
The conversations aren't age-appropriate.
There's too much dialogue.
The characters don't have original voices.
The new POV/tense is jarring.

Sigh.

I really shouldn't have posted that for crits yet, I don't think.

But I won't give up. I just might slow down a bit, even though I'm going to try not to.

Someone remind me again why I chose this hobby/future profession? It's mind-boggling!!

Funerals Suck

They do. It's a tried and true fact. Unless you're the Grim Reaper or something -- or Jason Priestley's character on Tru Calling... which was not unlike the Grim Reaper.

Anyhow.

What sucks worse than a funeral?

Writing about one.

There's an inherent tension, saddness, and ache that comes with funerals, and as an author, it's my job to get those all in the scene without crushing the readers' spirit so much s/he puts the book down. And you'd think, after attending countless funerals -- 3 grandparents, half a dozen great-aunts, three classmates, a handful of friends' parents and relatives, and my husband's uncle (which was less than a week ago, so I really should have it fresh in my mind) -- I would be able to get all these raw emotions on paper.

Riiiight. Because all those funeraly emotions come creeping in when you try to write a funeral scene, and while you'd think this is a good thing, it's not. Because they kind of block you from properly expressing any emotion.

So, funerals suck.

Writing about them sucks.

And they're both a part of life. Well, the real ones are a part of real life, and the fictional ones are a part of my novel. So, I'm going to have to figure out how to use my RL experience to create an authentic funeral scene for my readers.

Remind me again why I chose this hobby??

Rewriting

Rewriting Isaac's Eyes is going SO much better after I let it simmer for a while. Just this month, I have rewritten/revised 6.5 chapters. Since finishing the first draft on New Years' Eve of 2008, I had gotten exactly 3 chapters revised before now. And I had to re-revise those this week. So, it's been pretty productive! I just hope I can keep up this momentum and get the whole 2nd draft of the book done by the end of the year. I never wanted it to take this long to get finished in the first place.

After d2 (draft 2) is done, I plan to let IE sit for another month or two and then work on d3. Hopefully (fingers crossed!) I'll only need to get to d4 before I can start working on the dreaded query/synopsis/praying to God someone in the publishing field even remotely likes my work. The way I see it, d1 is for writing, d2 is for rewriting/revising, and d3 is for editing. Of course, there will be many half-drafts in between, and probably a few more editing drafts. In the case of IE, d2 is mostly for reWRITING, instead of reVISING, because I have added so much to the plot, characters, and overall complexity of the story since d1. So, what I'm doing right now is more rewriting than anything. In some cases -- like chapters 4, 5, and 6 -- completely re-writing the entire chapters... which is nice. It's back to the ole' blank canvas of d1 that inspires me to keep writing. I like it.

Stephen King and Elizabeth Lyons didn't have much to say to me about rewriting, but I have a feeling I'll be using much of their wisdom -- and that of many others -- to finish this draft. Especially if I want to make headway before school starts on August 26th (senior year!!! for real this time!).

Off to write some more. I'm adding a new series of flashbacks to the story, told backward from chapter 2 throughout the story (which is a basic forward-chronological structure, no tricks), and this flash is all new. And exciting. And hopefully gives some of my critters (those who critique my work, not small animals ☺) a taste of what they've asked for. Just a taste.

On Writing

I'm reading Stephen King's writing guide, appropriately titled, On Writing. I am also reading Elizabeth Lyon's revision guide, also appropriately titled, Manuscript Makeover. They are both very interesting, and very, very different.

I thought I'd give out some details of what I've found interesting from King's book, since I've shared a little of Lyon's already. But not too much, because what fun would that be? If you like what I post, you can go buy the book yourself ☺

On Writing

The first piece of advice marked with a green and brown sticky-note in my copy is:

"When you write a story, you're telling yourself the story. When you rewrite, your main job is taking out all the things that are not in the story." (page 57)

This may sound simple enough, but sometimes I think we writers forget this. We get so caught up in the grammar (How many adverbs do I have on this page? Should I use "said" or an alternative? How many times in this chapter did I use the word "she"?) and the worry that someone (anyone, just one person, who happens to live under a rock across the world) won't like this particular word/line/phrase, that we lose sight of our mission. Our mission is to write, to tell a story the best we can, and hope, nay, pray, that someone (anyone, just one person, who may or may not happen to live under a rock across the world) gets it. That's it. That's all we have to do. Simple, right?

The second piece I noted from this book is on page 134. Yes, there is plenty of wisdom between pages 57 and 134, but I'm sharing the ones I felt important enough to mark with the green-and-brown striped sticky-note. It really falls into what I was just saying, so apparently there is a theme here:

"The object of fiction isn't grammatical correctness but to make the reader welcome and then tell them a story... to make him/her forget, whenever possible, that h/she is reading a story at all. ... Writing is seduction.* Good talk is part of seduction..."

*Did you like that? Writing is "seduction." How 'bout them apples? I feel pretty damn good already. So if I ever become a professional writer, can I say that my job is "professional seductress?"... does that sound too... street-corner-worthy?

Ya know what, that's all I'm going to share today. I think I've found a theme and I like it. To go along with these professional words of wisdom, I'd like to share one more thing. I read a forum post on CC (www.critiquecircle.com) that has stayed with me for a few days. This forum was about Dean Koontz, but I found something that really interested me along these same lines. I have no idea how to make a pretty little link to the forum, but it doesn't matter much anyhow because only members of CC can read it. But, if you are already a member, or are thinking of becoming one (CC is the best writers' group on the Internet, I swear it. If you're not a member, you should be one. It's free. Go sign up. I'll wait.), just plug in some strategic search words and you can find the original post. Here's what I liked:

CC'ers are forever wailing the bad writing of successful authors. And I don't think it is that only once you've sold tons of books you can do that, because if you go back to the first book of these authors, they are just as bad, usually worse. I've read tons of Koontz, and his strength is definitely not his prose.
What I really think is going on is that the 'rules', the 'writing no-nos', aren't nearly as important as we think they are, at least not to the reader. In fact, I think we are handicapping ourselves beyond our ability to be productive and successful. It is as if we are in a race, but have decided that the only way to go about it is with a backpack full of bricks across our shoulders and three china teacups balanced on our heads.
And there go Koontz, King, Rowling, et al, running blithely along miles ahead of us.
Meanwhile, we keep checking with each other to see how well packed our bricks are.

That just amazed me. How true is that, fellow writers? Instead of doing our business -- our telling... our seducing -- we worry WAY too much about the technicalities of the craft. (PS, that's what CC is for, to help with those technicalities once you've told your story. So, here's another chance to go sign up. No, I don't get squat for plugging the website, but I like it, and you will too.)

That's about all I have for now. I am revising my 2nd draft of IE currently. I'm taking a break from Illusive Truths (tentative title, I just don't know how I feel about it yet), my SuNoWriMos project (bust! I only wrote 20K when my goal was 60K in two months...) to do some heavy rewriting. More on that later. I have to get back to work.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program...

blah

I hate this economy. I've been unemployed for over 10 months now, my husband for almost a full year. Luckily the rest of the nation is so poor the government keeps extending our unemployment checks, but that just means it's even harder to find a job.

Especially around a full-time student's schedule. But I've been in school for SO long, and I've taken so many semesters off due to having to work extra hours, that I just CAN'T not graduate in May 2010. I'm already pissed that it's that far out instead of August like I was supposed to be :(

So, what to do? I'm applying for any part-time job or full-time w/ flexible hours I can find, and not hearing back at all. I'm posting ads for tutoring and office help, but not getting any takers.

Summer is supposed to be a fun time of cooking out and laying by the pool. We were going to buy a patio set and a trampoline, and a swingset for the kids. But instead, we can't get any of that stuff and the pool is too expensive. This summer sucks.

Here's to hoping things begin to look up!

Where does the time go?

Not only has it been two months (ok, 2 days shy...) since I've posted on here, but it's already almost the SEVENTH month of 2009!! I can't believe how quickly time has FLOWN.

I still have a gazillion things to do before winter hits. Namely, finish the Christmas stockings, teach Austin to ride a bike, work my ass off in school so I only have 3 classes left by the time 2010 starts, lose some weight, and get a job. That's a lot of big things, and I can't do a lot of the little things on my list until some of the bigger ones are taken care of. So, I guess I'd better get crackin'.

A couple other MUCHO IMPORTANTE things to add to my list: finish the 2nd draft/total revision of IE!!!! Finish the first draft of Vaampyr/A&G. Finish the first draft of Sawyer (untitled works tend to take on the heroine's name, in this case, Sawyer Jackson, Ph.D.).

Speaking of Sawyer, SuNoMriMos is not going too well. School is CraZy and I only have about 6K done so far; my goal is 60K by July 31. This could get ugly. Luckily, finals are tomorrow (woot!) so I will have almost 3 whole weeks of peace, where I'll only have one online class to deal with. I plan on getting LOTS of writing done, LOTS of working out in, and even working on my Christmas stockings ☺ Then, July 20, I'm going to be in class M-F from 1:30-5:45pm. Could be worse, but 4 hours a day sucks big-time. Oh, well. I'll get the class over with and be ready to apply for graduation!!

In other news.... no, that's about it. Life is dull. I'm watching my high school classmates post pictures from around the world, where they're living the single life or having a blast with their spouses, many of them having children, most of them loving their jobs (or at least having one)... and I feel left out. Gotta get on that, but not quite sure how. My bro is in jail, so I haven't been able to see Lillie in a while, which makes me SOOOOOO sad. I miss her so much :( She's getting huge, walking, and her hair is so curly it makes me want to just play with it all day. Hopefully I'll get to spend more time with her soon. That alone would make up for the left-out-edness.

That's it. Life is boring. Not much to say. If I get around to it, I may post an excerpt or two from my revisions. That could be fun.

Spring is almost over...

What to blog about? Not much has changed, hence the silence.

But finals are coming up (I have 2 papers due this coming week, 2 regular "not final" tests... then the week of May 4th I have 3 finals and another paper due), so I'm hitting the crazy part of the semester. I tried to stay ahead, or at least on track, for each class, but some classes have been easier than others to stay on top of.

So, we're going to Six Flags tomorrow for opening weekend and I HAVE to be ready for my Monday test AND have my Monday and Wednesday papers due. Oh, and read about 6 neuropsych articles by Monday's class. Yay, rah.

Writing? I don't have time for that! But as soon as the semester's over, Mandy and I are starting the plot-fest for SuNoWriMos, our own personal Summer Novel Writing Months. My goal is to write at lesat 50K on a NEW novel between June 1st and July 31st, and Mandy wants to write a whole first draft, though I'm not sure what her word expectancy is. It should be fun! Since I'm taking 12 credit hours this summer, I have to take a smaller writing load, but I seriously need to up the writing time this summer because I haven't ticked a SINGLE item off my 2009 writing to-do list :(

Reading? I probably spend too much time doing that. I've recently read 2 Jodi Picoults that I hadn't read before, and now I have read all of her novels and own half of them. I am reading 2 fantasy novels, as well as Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner. And, of course, re-perusing my 3 extra credit books, My Lobotomy: A Memoir by Howard Dully, My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, and A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. They are all good books and I have enjoyed reading them. I probably should have started the reports back in February when I read them though! Just for fun, I am including a picture of my newly-acquired books, thanks to Half Price Books and the Doubleday online book club ☺ I seriously need to finish my schoolwork so I can get to reading. My TBR pile is HUGE!!! To be fair, I guess two of them are re-reads, but I'm still looking forward to them!!



I'm pretty excited for summer for other reasons, too, though. Swimming pools, sunshine, tanning, the end of my advanced neuro class... Angels & Demons (the movie), Star Trek (the movie), and My Sister's Keeper (another movie) all come out in May/June, and I'm stoked! I'm NOT so stoked about allergies, sinuses, and bugs.... but alas, I guess I'll take the bad with the good when it comes to weather. I just can't wait to graduate (May 2010 baby!!) and move to Florida where it will be a lot warmer, a lot more of the time. I'll just have to find a good allergist ☺

Thoughts on Writing

Not much exciting has happened in my world, hence the lack of communication. But I'm on spring break now, so I thought I'd share a couple of things.

I got to meet my favorite author, Jodi Picoult, on Friday. The place was packed -- I heard someone say over 300 people had turned up, possibly closer to 400 -- so there wasn't much personal time with her. But I got my book signed and a picture (which is on someone else's camera so I don't have it yet :( ) and had a great time on a mini-road trip with my niece, Katie. I was exhausted by the time I got home at 1am, but it was fun.

Jodi said some things about writing that I really wish I could remember... but I do know that she said that writing is like making a quilt. You don't sit down and try to make the whole quilt in a day. You work on one square until it's finished, then move on to the next. I thought that was a good analogy, and so true.

Some other words of wisdom I've come across (in the writing world) come from J.R. Ward (whose new book comes out in April! Yay!!). In the Insider's Guide to the Black Dagger Brotherhood, which is the name of her paranormal romance series, she has a chapter on advice for writers. Here are her main points, lifted directly from page 205:

I. P & R -- PERSIST AND REINVENT
II. WRITE OUT LOUD
III. OWN YOUR OWN WORK
IV. PLOTLINES ARE LIKE SHARKS
V. SWEAT EQUITY IS THE BEST INVESTMENT
VI. CONFLICT IS KING
VII. CREDIBLE SURPRISE IS QUEEN
VIII. LISTEN TO YOUR RICE KRISPIES

Not sure what all that means? I'm sure you'll figure it out, like I am. ☺

That's it for now. I just remembered a scene I had forgotten last night, so I'm going to go write it down before I lose it again. Then some spring cleaning, yippee!!

A Month Later...

Well, it's been almost a month since I've blogged. What have I been doing in that time?

School. Lots of it. I added a non-credit Mandarin class to the mix, so now instead of super-busy, I'm uber-busy! With the two little dottie things over the U. Uber.

And I had Lillie for a week, which was amazing. She's getting so dang big! And on Thursday my house almost caught on fire. So that was fun. I had to stay in a Motel 6 for two nights while the furnace got fixed, and I had to bring my two cats and dog with me so they didn't get stuck in a fire should the furnace NOT get fixed. It's been a fun couple of weeks!

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. Mostly Shakespeare and various psychology texts, but also a couple of How-To writing books I got from the library. I absolutely love (and subsequently purchased) Donald Maass' "Writing the Breakout Novel." Amazing. I'm looking into his workshop/conference dates to see him speak, and anxiously awaiting next months' "Fire in Fiction," which sounds promising. I'm also currently reading Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman's "How NOT to Write a Novel." I'm only 61 pages in but it seems promising also.

Here are examples of what to expect from the above-referenced books:

"Who lives in Unpublished Novelville? Many of its most prominent citizens have no traits at all... Even the protagonist has all the depth of a sock with a faec drawn on it in magic marker" (Mittlemark and Newman 61).

"While a revelatory moment at the end of a novel that causes the reader to think back and understand everything in a whole new light -- oh, it was the uncle telling the story the whole time! -- is a fine thing, you may NOT inform the reader after three hundred pages of quotidian realism that the scrappy puppy the hero saved from the fire in Chapter Two is really a magic, mind-reading puppy from another planet, who has just been waiting for the right moment to reveal his superpowers and save the day.. This type of ending is a special instance of deus ex machina, known as the folie adieu, which is French for "Are you FUCKING kidding me?" (Mittlemark and Newman 45)

How NOT to Write a Novel also includes things to avoid, such as "The Underpants Gnomes," "The Manchurian Parallax of Thetan Conspiracy Enigma," "The Second Argument in the Laundromat," and "The Benign Tumor." Intrigued? Then I recommend reading.

I've actually found two things my current WIP is guilty of (err, I'm guilty of placing in my WIP)... and since this is How NOT to Write a Novel, I don't think that's a good thing!!!

From Writing the Breakout Novel:

"To break out, simple plot structures need high stakes, complex characters, and layered conflicts" (Maass 162).

"Think hard. Be honest with yourself. Are the stakes in your current manuscript as high as they possibly can be? Can you define them right now? Can you point to the exact pages in which the stakes escalate, locking your protagonist into his course of action with less hope of success than before?" (Maass, 58)

"Conflict grows and grows until it seems to have no resolution" (This is somewhere in Chapter Six: Plot, and though it really inspired me, I can't tell you what page it's on at the moment).

"Interweave character relationships" (Maass 197) -- This means don't just let the MC have a best friend, a husband, a doctor, a lawyer, a realtor, and a dog. And have her husband cheat on her and her best friend have a breakdown and.... all this stuff. Interweave the relationships to make them more complex: The husband cheats with the best friend, who happens to be the MC's realtor, and the MC and her cheating husband are looking for a new house; even though the best friend/realtor knows this isn't the best time to look for a new home together -- hence the breakdown. And maybe the best friend's husband is the MC's doctor... you get the picture. This was a random, made-up example from my own crazy mind, but it's what I took out of the chapter on Multiple Viewpoints, Subplots, Pace, Voice, and Endings.

That's it for now. I have to study and read and drive myself crazy. If you're a writer, I hope you take a look at these two books. I really recommend them.

First Day of School. Again.

Today was the first day of my junior year. Again. I've been going part-time for a while, with occasional full-time semesters thrown in there. I didn't go last fall (I'm still peeved about that, it set me behind a whole semester, naturally) so I'm in full gear this spring. I'm still not working, so I figure I'll make the most of the unemployment time (while still searching for work around my school schedule, of course) and get as many credits in as I can while my financial aid is still paying for it.

Which might not happen -- finaid's being stupid. Again. But they assure me I *should* have full aid, but classes started today and I won't know for sure until Thursday. So we'll see how that goes.

I really hope I don't have to drop my classes. Again.

I went to 3 classes today, and I have 2 online. My classroom classes are Psychological Research Methods, Cognition (or Cognitive Psych), and Neuropsychology. Yay! My online classes are Intro to Shakespeare and Stress & Health Psychology. See a theme?

IF -- and this is a big "if" -- I can take all of these and pass with good grades, then take a specific Language and Writing course in the summer, and 2 biologies (the hard part) in the summer... then I will only need 2 more psychology classes to graduate in December!!!! I want to take another psych this semester but don't want to overload myself. Again.

So, more on school later. I'm just excited to have completed my first day without crying or freaking out. I don't have books, or even a parking permit, yet due to my financial aid situation, but hopefully when school resumes after MLK Day I'll be set to go!!

Oh, and I colored my hair. Whenever I find the camera I'll take a picture.

Later ☺

Where Has All the Passion Gone?

Something happened the other day that made me sad. While it was just a passing conversation that lasted about a minute, maybe two, it's stuck with me for about a week now.

Hubby and I were watching TV, and a commercial for some reality-type show came one. It was some show where a guy gives relationship advice to couples, yadda yadda. The clip showed him telling a wife that it's very important that she share some of her husband's interests. Or something along those lines.

Hubby looks at me and says, "See? You should be interested in wrestling with me."

I hate wrestling.

So I tell him that I've at least TRIED to watch and participate in his only interest, but I can't get into it. I should get points for trying, though.

He says, "Well, I share your interests too. ... You got me watching One Tree Hill, and Gilmore Girls, and Buffy..."

Those aren't interests. They're TV shows.

So he asks the ultimate question, the one that makes me sad -- "What ARE your interests?"

And after a moment of pondering, I answer: "I don't really have any anymore."

*****

And I've been thinking about that all week. Whenever I have to fill out a survey about my interests, I fall back to the things I USED to be interested in -- or, at least, I acted on those interests ... things like foreign languages (I have a huge shelf of self-teaching books in languages from Portuguese to Arabic and a bunch in between), working out (I used to love to take classes like kickboxing and bellydance, and fun stuff), painting, scrapbooking....

Pretty much the only thing I still do that I used to put on my lists is read and write. And even then, my writing isn't as consistent as I'd like. I'm currently in a rut the size of the Grand Canyon. I'm so burnt out I can't even switch to another story and start it. Grrr.

I was thinking about this conversation while I looked at my university's class schedule for 2009. I was thinking about how I wanted to individualize a major to study comparative linguistics and various foreign languages. How I wanted to be in the CIA when I grew up -- seriously. To translate and interpret multiple languages. And yet, I have not taken a foreign language in years at school because it keeps getting pushed back. Every semester, I enroll in a class, like beginning Chinese (I have a book on Mandarin and years ago I was decent but it's collected dust since 2003), but then I realize that if I take Chinese I, I'll have to take II and III and that will take more time than just taking a higher-level Spanish or French course and placing out of it. Which, of course, I never do because every time I put it on my schedule, I move it in favor of a psychology class or something else I need. My advisor asked me last year, If I love languages so much, why haven't I taken any?

I don't know.

I have interests in my head, but they never make it any farther. Sometimes it's because of money -- I'd love to take some language classes at school, even the cheaper 6-week ones that aren't for credit, but I can't afford it. I'd love to sign up for that community volleyball league, but can't afford it. The paint classes, Pilates classes, photography classes, Mini Marathon, study abroad... there are a bunch of stuff I want to do and I never do.

I'm one of those people who makes lists of things to do and see before I die. So far, I've crossed off maybe one thing on each list. And it makes me sad. But, not as sad as realizing that in the last few years, many of my interests, the things I was most passionate about in the past, have died.

Where have they gone? And can I get them back?

How much do I want to?

Curls and More

So I got a perm yesterday. I can’t decide if I like it or not, but for the money I spent on it, I want to force myself to like it. My hope had been that my in-between hair (not curly, not straight, but mostly messy-wavy) would finally have a purpose if I permed it. My hairstylist is really nice and I love her (so, of course, Friday’s her last day!) but I’m not as happy with my curls as I would like. I feel like my hair is flat, possibly even flatter than when it was straight. Sad day.

Here are the first pictures of said perm. Look at them now, because they’re probably the only one’s you’ll see unless I learn to love it. Of course, I’m giving it a few days because right now, I can’t even wash it or put product in it. So we’ll see.

BEFORE:

AFTER (in bad lighting, ugg):

In other news… well, not much is going on. I’m getting DSL today so my Internet connection will finally be stable (fingers crossed!). School starts on Monday and I’m SO excited!!! But, my financial aid is still being a pain in the ass, so there’s a chance I won’t be able to go L I’m stuck on chapter 5 of IE in the 2nd draft. It’s more tedious than I thought it would be, and my first 4 chapters aren’t as polished as I thought they would be, given the amount of time I spent on them. I still don’t have a job, but I won’t feel quite so bad about it once school starts. Though I really need to get one so I can continue to pay bills. Arg.

That’s about it. 2009 seems just like any other year, so far. Hopefully it turns out to be a good year!!

Hello, 2009!!

I thought I’d start the year with a note.


The end




OK, no, I’m joking. Kind of. I don’t have much to say, but I have a Boyz 2 Men song in my head, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.” It’s so true. 2008 flew by, and I feel like I didn’t get much accomplished during the 366 days (it was a leap year remember?) past.

That’s not totally true, since I did finish the first draft of IE and write 60K on the first draft of another novel (Vaampyr). And I passed statistics in the summer and got another semester and summer term under my belt. And got out of the old house and into … well, another one I don’t like too much but is “ok for now.” Oh, but at 9pm last night we got satellite, so I can now watch TV!

What didn’t I do in 2008? I didn’t get any closer, really, to publishing anything I’ve written. All the shorts I sent out got rejected big-time. I expected it, so I’m not too bummed. Just stating a fact. I didn’t graduate like I had hoped. I didn’t end the year with a job. I didn’t have a baby like I wanted (although, since I didn’t have a job for a third of the year, that might not be a bad thing). I didn’t learn anything new, like I always want to do – a language, a sport, a workout. I didn’t travel anywhere new – I’ve been to Miami before. And I didn’t lose any weight. Actually, I gained back 25 pounds I had lost in 2007 and THEN SOME.

So, what does 2009 mean to me? It means working hard on my writing. Novels, shorts, whatever I can do. I am determined to finish the 2nd drafts of both IE and Vaampyr, and write at least one polished short a month. Plus, I’d really like to get started on my next novel. And finish the first drafts of my two Unfinisheds. So – 5 novels, 12 shorts; 365 days. Well, 364, cuz I had a lot to drink last night and probably won’t be writing today ☺

What else does 2009 mean to me? I SHOULD be graduating this year, as long as my financial aid works out like it should And if I graduate, then I SHOULD be moving to Florida. That’ll be awesome! I would love to get pregnant, but who knows if that’ll happen. Some of my best friends are pregnant or are trying to get pregnant, again leaving me in the dust L It’s all good though. I have my kitties and puppy for now. And Lillie, who possibly will be spending more time with us in 2009 (yay!!!).

And I’m going to learn something new. A few years ago I crossed Pilates off my list, and another year yoga. I own a guitar and a keyboard but can’t play either – maybe I’ll make one of those my New Thing for 2009? I’ll let you know how that works out!

Well, I’m off to finish the first day of the new year. So that exactly one year from today, I can blog about all the stuff I DIDN’T cross off my 2009 list. It’ll probably include most of 5 novels, 12 shorts, guitar/piano… you get the picture.