Counting Down...

... to what, exactly?

To walking across a stage in a big black robe, and turning a collection of strings on top a piece of cardboard on my head. Knowing the whole while I still don't have a job because I'm too qualified for the entry-level positions and not qualified enough for the mid-level.

BUT, I'm still excited about it!!! Graduation is 43 days from today. I just have to get through five classes with passing grades (and hopefully better than merely passing!) and then I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. Graduation is near, signaling a chapter in my life complete.

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I miss my daddy. A lot. I can't believe he won't be standing with me 43 days from now, telling me how proud he is. I know he is proud of me, but it's just not the same.

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I've gotten my creative juices flowing once again. Yesterday, I dug out all my painting supplies, which haven't been used in, oh, almost 8 years!! I made a not-so-good painting that started out abstract and ended up looking like an 8-year-old drawing a sunset. But, now that I've written that, I realize that it kind of WAS like an 8-year-old's painting, since I haven't painted in 8 years!



Anyhow, so I painted this and while I know it's not great, it made me happy. It gave me the inspiration to play with colors on the three new webpages I'm making, and I'm itching to not only paint more -- really paint this time -- but also to write!

I'm making a list of things to do tonight, since I have yet another night to myself thanks to 4 12-hour shifts my hubby is working this week (in a row!). So far it includes: dinner, paint, write, watch Buffy, do at least 2 pages of writing on each of my Capstone projects, and read half a chapter of Anatomy. I should probably do the ugly stuff first, and save the creative stuff as a reward, huh?

... 43 days. That's it. After that, I can take the "ugly stuff" off my list!

Blank Canvas

There's something amazing about a blank canvas. Just moments ago, I opened a brand new, completely fresh document in Dreamweaver, to start brainstorming for a new website. On one hand, there's a sense of being overwhelmed by all the possibilities and not knowing which to choose. On the other, there's all the possibilities.

I read something yesterday while helping my husband with his homework. In Jack Foster's book, "How to Get Ideas," chapters 5 and 6 are about failure and creativity, respectively. Last night, as I spent 6 hours trying to load my website to its server, the lesson about failure really set in -- Without failure, we cannot learn, and we cannot grow creatively because failing forces us to try out new options, find better ways to do something, and draw inspiration from unlikely sources to meet our goals. Which is what chapter 6, Get More Inputs, was about.

The two things Foster emphasizes in Chapter 6 are 1. Get out of your rut, and 2. Learn how to see. He says to try something new, such as learning a new language, taking a new route to work, re-reading an old classic, find a new hobby, go to lunch with someone different, and just all-around shake up your life. In doing so, you will receive new inputs, which ultimately means new sources of creativity.

Reading those chapters inspired me. I already have a new-things list I update every year. This year, I'm already learning guitar and Greek, which have both been on my list for a while. I've met new people, tasted new foods, and learned to think of things differently. And it's only March.

All of this new stuff you experience, whatever it is, goes into the blank canvas. It's up to you to mesh your new inputs with the old stuff you had jangling around in your brain, and the result is the most brilliant thing imaginable -- creativity.

So, I sit here still, with my bright orange screen glaring at me (a quick "color: #f60" made it that way, but I'm sure it'll change once I play around), a guitar propped up against a wooden artists' easel, and my laptop open to Liquid Story Binder, my writer software of choice. And after the brief moment of fright at all the possibilities, I'm now ready to get my hands dirty, make a few mistakes, and see where they lead me. I'm sure I'll learn something new, and that will inspire something else to spring forth.

Creativity is a wonderful thing, a gift I often have taken for granted. Helping my husband, who wants to be creative but not to expand his horizons to do it, with his homework has helped me see that it's not something you're given, like a gene you can't turn off. Creativity is a curiosity to seek out new information to help you fill your blank canvas, and seeing every one as an opportunity instead of an overwhelming task.

Stretching those creative muscles... kind of

My husband is teaching himself the art of graphic design. Recently, he went from making flyers and posters for his wrestling company to actually getting PAID to make a flyer for a tattoo shop. It wasn't a lot, but he got paid to do something he loves to do. I'm so proud of him! I told him he should come up with a name for his graphic design "business," make a logo, and stick that on his work -- especially since the tattoo shop wanted to put his name and phone number on the flyer since they thought it was so good! We spent last night and part of today trying to come up with fun, creative, but professional names.

This got me thinking. I want a cool business name. But I don't have a business. It kind of sucks. Even when (note I said "when," not "if") I become a published author, I still don't get to make a unique name and a logo. It bummed me out. So, being the creative type I am, I decided to just come up with a name for something anyhow. I thought it would be fun, and kind of flex those artistic pipes a bit.

Now, I have been dabbling in web design. It started as a class for school and I am really interested in it. I have moved onto a bigger project, which is still for school but will continue even after the class is over: hubby's wrestling organization's website. That's a pretty big deal, and I don't want to mess it up, so I'm working really hard to do a great job. Anyhow, in my name/logo-jealousy fit, I decided to come up with a name for my soon-to-be successful web design career (haha... I would love to make money designing web sites, but I do have a bit more learning to do!!)

Today, between classes (my nothing-to-do-with-design classes, which are currently depressing me due to lack of wholehearted interest in the subjects), I started googling my ideas. You know, to see if anyone already had web design companies with those names.

My favorite name, which I figured off the bat would be taken, was Tangled Web, or even Untangled Web. I just loved the wordplay. Well, of course, they are both not only very popular names for companies, they happen to be popular names for web design companies. I figured. Still, I was disappointed. But I moved through my other names, even though there were only a few.

Color9 -- from a song I love. I thought it was so original (despite being from a song, but the song is like 10 years old so I really didn't think anyone would have the name). Not only was it a company name, it was a web design company name. Damn.

Creative Type (yes, this was based off an internal dialogue about my thought process leading to coming up with a name) -- taken. By a web design company.

Relative Youth -- not taken, but reminds me of Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson. Plus, while it is applicable to me and fresh on my mind due to a creative writing assignment, it doesn't say anything about web design.

I love oxymorons, and one of my favs of the moment is Fine Mess. However, that's the name of a Kate Voegele album (which I love!) and a few other things, so of course I couldn't use that. I love the word Chaos. But I can only come up with Orderly Chaos -- and really, do I want to use an -ly adverb, when I try so hard to abolish them from my writing?

That was it. I'm bummed. But, I still want to come up with a name. I don't really need one, though I would love to create websites on the side someday when I'm good enough... but I want one. And I want to make a logo. And I want to stick it on the few websites I am making for school and personal projects. Just for fun. It really does stretch my creativity, and I think it'll be a good exercise.

Now, since my favorite names are taken, what should I use?

....