Today was the first day of my junior year. Again. I've been going part-time for a while, with occasional full-time semesters thrown in there. I didn't go last fall (I'm still peeved about that, it set me behind a whole semester, naturally) so I'm in full gear this spring. I'm still not working, so I figure I'll make the most of the unemployment time (while still searching for work around my school schedule, of course) and get as many credits in as I can while my financial aid is still paying for it.
Which might not happen -- finaid's being stupid. Again. But they assure me I *should* have full aid, but classes started today and I won't know for sure until Thursday. So we'll see how that goes.
I really hope I don't have to drop my classes. Again.
I went to 3 classes today, and I have 2 online. My classroom classes are Psychological Research Methods, Cognition (or Cognitive Psych), and Neuropsychology. Yay! My online classes are Intro to Shakespeare and Stress & Health Psychology. See a theme?
IF -- and this is a big "if" -- I can take all of these and pass with good grades, then take a specific Language and Writing course in the summer, and 2 biologies (the hard part) in the summer... then I will only need 2 more psychology classes to graduate in December!!!! I want to take another psych this semester but don't want to overload myself. Again.
So, more on school later. I'm just excited to have completed my first day without crying or freaking out. I don't have books, or even a parking permit, yet due to my financial aid situation, but hopefully when school resumes after MLK Day I'll be set to go!!
Oh, and I colored my hair. Whenever I find the camera I'll take a picture.
Later ☺
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Where Has All the Passion Gone?
Something happened the other day that made me sad. While it was just a passing conversation that lasted about a minute, maybe two, it's stuck with me for about a week now.
Hubby and I were watching TV, and a commercial for some reality-type show came one. It was some show where a guy gives relationship advice to couples, yadda yadda. The clip showed him telling a wife that it's very important that she share some of her husband's interests. Or something along those lines.
Hubby looks at me and says, "See? You should be interested in wrestling with me."
I hate wrestling.
So I tell him that I've at least TRIED to watch and participate in his only interest, but I can't get into it. I should get points for trying, though.
He says, "Well, I share your interests too. ... You got me watching One Tree Hill, and Gilmore Girls, and Buffy..."
Those aren't interests. They're TV shows.
So he asks the ultimate question, the one that makes me sad -- "What ARE your interests?"
And after a moment of pondering, I answer: "I don't really have any anymore."
*****
And I've been thinking about that all week. Whenever I have to fill out a survey about my interests, I fall back to the things I USED to be interested in -- or, at least, I acted on those interests ... things like foreign languages (I have a huge shelf of self-teaching books in languages from Portuguese to Arabic and a bunch in between), working out (I used to love to take classes like kickboxing and bellydance, and fun stuff), painting, scrapbooking....
Pretty much the only thing I still do that I used to put on my lists is read and write. And even then, my writing isn't as consistent as I'd like. I'm currently in a rut the size of the Grand Canyon. I'm so burnt out I can't even switch to another story and start it. Grrr.
I was thinking about this conversation while I looked at my university's class schedule for 2009. I was thinking about how I wanted to individualize a major to study comparative linguistics and various foreign languages. How I wanted to be in the CIA when I grew up -- seriously. To translate and interpret multiple languages. And yet, I have not taken a foreign language in years at school because it keeps getting pushed back. Every semester, I enroll in a class, like beginning Chinese (I have a book on Mandarin and years ago I was decent but it's collected dust since 2003), but then I realize that if I take Chinese I, I'll have to take II and III and that will take more time than just taking a higher-level Spanish or French course and placing out of it. Which, of course, I never do because every time I put it on my schedule, I move it in favor of a psychology class or something else I need. My advisor asked me last year, If I love languages so much, why haven't I taken any?
I don't know.
I have interests in my head, but they never make it any farther. Sometimes it's because of money -- I'd love to take some language classes at school, even the cheaper 6-week ones that aren't for credit, but I can't afford it. I'd love to sign up for that community volleyball league, but can't afford it. The paint classes, Pilates classes, photography classes, Mini Marathon, study abroad... there are a bunch of stuff I want to do and I never do.
I'm one of those people who makes lists of things to do and see before I die. So far, I've crossed off maybe one thing on each list. And it makes me sad. But, not as sad as realizing that in the last few years, many of my interests, the things I was most passionate about in the past, have died.
Where have they gone? And can I get them back?
How much do I want to?
Hubby and I were watching TV, and a commercial for some reality-type show came one. It was some show where a guy gives relationship advice to couples, yadda yadda. The clip showed him telling a wife that it's very important that she share some of her husband's interests. Or something along those lines.
Hubby looks at me and says, "See? You should be interested in wrestling with me."
I hate wrestling.
So I tell him that I've at least TRIED to watch and participate in his only interest, but I can't get into it. I should get points for trying, though.
He says, "Well, I share your interests too. ... You got me watching One Tree Hill, and Gilmore Girls, and Buffy..."
Those aren't interests. They're TV shows.
So he asks the ultimate question, the one that makes me sad -- "What ARE your interests?"
And after a moment of pondering, I answer: "I don't really have any anymore."
*****
And I've been thinking about that all week. Whenever I have to fill out a survey about my interests, I fall back to the things I USED to be interested in -- or, at least, I acted on those interests ... things like foreign languages (I have a huge shelf of self-teaching books in languages from Portuguese to Arabic and a bunch in between), working out (I used to love to take classes like kickboxing and bellydance, and fun stuff), painting, scrapbooking....
Pretty much the only thing I still do that I used to put on my lists is read and write. And even then, my writing isn't as consistent as I'd like. I'm currently in a rut the size of the Grand Canyon. I'm so burnt out I can't even switch to another story and start it. Grrr.
I was thinking about this conversation while I looked at my university's class schedule for 2009. I was thinking about how I wanted to individualize a major to study comparative linguistics and various foreign languages. How I wanted to be in the CIA when I grew up -- seriously. To translate and interpret multiple languages. And yet, I have not taken a foreign language in years at school because it keeps getting pushed back. Every semester, I enroll in a class, like beginning Chinese (I have a book on Mandarin and years ago I was decent but it's collected dust since 2003), but then I realize that if I take Chinese I, I'll have to take II and III and that will take more time than just taking a higher-level Spanish or French course and placing out of it. Which, of course, I never do because every time I put it on my schedule, I move it in favor of a psychology class or something else I need. My advisor asked me last year, If I love languages so much, why haven't I taken any?
I don't know.
I have interests in my head, but they never make it any farther. Sometimes it's because of money -- I'd love to take some language classes at school, even the cheaper 6-week ones that aren't for credit, but I can't afford it. I'd love to sign up for that community volleyball league, but can't afford it. The paint classes, Pilates classes, photography classes, Mini Marathon, study abroad... there are a bunch of stuff I want to do and I never do.
I'm one of those people who makes lists of things to do and see before I die. So far, I've crossed off maybe one thing on each list. And it makes me sad. But, not as sad as realizing that in the last few years, many of my interests, the things I was most passionate about in the past, have died.
Where have they gone? And can I get them back?
How much do I want to?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Curls and More
So I got a perm yesterday. I can’t decide if I like it or not, but for the money I spent on it, I want to force myself to like it. My hope had been that my in-between hair (not curly, not straight, but mostly messy-wavy) would finally have a purpose if I permed it. My hairstylist is really nice and I love her (so, of course, Friday’s her last day!) but I’m not as happy with my curls as I would like. I feel like my hair is flat, possibly even flatter than when it was straight. Sad day.
Here are the first pictures of said perm. Look at them now, because they’re probably the only one’s you’ll see unless I learn to love it. Of course, I’m giving it a few days because right now, I can’t even wash it or put product in it. So we’ll see.
Here are the first pictures of said perm. Look at them now, because they’re probably the only one’s you’ll see unless I learn to love it. Of course, I’m giving it a few days because right now, I can’t even wash it or put product in it. So we’ll see.
BEFORE:
AFTER (in bad lighting, ugg):
In other news… well, not much is going on. I’m getting DSL today so my Internet connection will finally be stable (fingers crossed!). School starts on Monday and I’m SO excited!!! But, my financial aid is still being a pain in the ass, so there’s a chance I won’t be able to go L I’m stuck on chapter 5 of IE in the 2nd draft. It’s more tedious than I thought it would be, and my first 4 chapters aren’t as polished as I thought they would be, given the amount of time I spent on them. I still don’t have a job, but I won’t feel quite so bad about it once school starts. Though I really need to get one so I can continue to pay bills. Arg.
That’s about it. 2009 seems just like any other year, so far. Hopefully it turns out to be a good year!!
That’s about it. 2009 seems just like any other year, so far. Hopefully it turns out to be a good year!!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Hello, 2009!!
I thought I’d start the year with a note.
The end
OK, no, I’m joking. Kind of. I don’t have much to say, but I have a Boyz 2 Men song in my head, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.” It’s so true. 2008 flew by, and I feel like I didn’t get much accomplished during the 366 days (it was a leap year remember?) past.
That’s not totally true, since I did finish the first draft of IE and write 60K on the first draft of another novel (Vaampyr). And I passed statistics in the summer and got another semester and summer term under my belt. And got out of the old house and into … well, another one I don’t like too much but is “ok for now.” Oh, but at 9pm last night we got satellite, so I can now watch TV!
What didn’t I do in 2008? I didn’t get any closer, really, to publishing anything I’ve written. All the shorts I sent out got rejected big-time. I expected it, so I’m not too bummed. Just stating a fact. I didn’t graduate like I had hoped. I didn’t end the year with a job. I didn’t have a baby like I wanted (although, since I didn’t have a job for a third of the year, that might not be a bad thing). I didn’t learn anything new, like I always want to do – a language, a sport, a workout. I didn’t travel anywhere new – I’ve been to Miami before. And I didn’t lose any weight. Actually, I gained back 25 pounds I had lost in 2007 and THEN SOME.
So, what does 2009 mean to me? It means working hard on my writing. Novels, shorts, whatever I can do. I am determined to finish the 2nd drafts of both IE and Vaampyr, and write at least one polished short a month. Plus, I’d really like to get started on my next novel. And finish the first drafts of my two Unfinisheds. So – 5 novels, 12 shorts; 365 days. Well, 364, cuz I had a lot to drink last night and probably won’t be writing today ☺
What else does 2009 mean to me? I SHOULD be graduating this year, as long as my financial aid works out like it should And if I graduate, then I SHOULD be moving to Florida. That’ll be awesome! I would love to get pregnant, but who knows if that’ll happen. Some of my best friends are pregnant or are trying to get pregnant, again leaving me in the dust L It’s all good though. I have my kitties and puppy for now. And Lillie, who possibly will be spending more time with us in 2009 (yay!!!).
And I’m going to learn something new. A few years ago I crossed Pilates off my list, and another year yoga. I own a guitar and a keyboard but can’t play either – maybe I’ll make one of those my New Thing for 2009? I’ll let you know how that works out!
Well, I’m off to finish the first day of the new year. So that exactly one year from today, I can blog about all the stuff I DIDN’T cross off my 2009 list. It’ll probably include most of 5 novels, 12 shorts, guitar/piano… you get the picture.
The end
OK, no, I’m joking. Kind of. I don’t have much to say, but I have a Boyz 2 Men song in my head, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.” It’s so true. 2008 flew by, and I feel like I didn’t get much accomplished during the 366 days (it was a leap year remember?) past.
That’s not totally true, since I did finish the first draft of IE and write 60K on the first draft of another novel (Vaampyr). And I passed statistics in the summer and got another semester and summer term under my belt. And got out of the old house and into … well, another one I don’t like too much but is “ok for now.” Oh, but at 9pm last night we got satellite, so I can now watch TV!
What didn’t I do in 2008? I didn’t get any closer, really, to publishing anything I’ve written. All the shorts I sent out got rejected big-time. I expected it, so I’m not too bummed. Just stating a fact. I didn’t graduate like I had hoped. I didn’t end the year with a job. I didn’t have a baby like I wanted (although, since I didn’t have a job for a third of the year, that might not be a bad thing). I didn’t learn anything new, like I always want to do – a language, a sport, a workout. I didn’t travel anywhere new – I’ve been to Miami before. And I didn’t lose any weight. Actually, I gained back 25 pounds I had lost in 2007 and THEN SOME.
So, what does 2009 mean to me? It means working hard on my writing. Novels, shorts, whatever I can do. I am determined to finish the 2nd drafts of both IE and Vaampyr, and write at least one polished short a month. Plus, I’d really like to get started on my next novel. And finish the first drafts of my two Unfinisheds. So – 5 novels, 12 shorts; 365 days. Well, 364, cuz I had a lot to drink last night and probably won’t be writing today ☺
What else does 2009 mean to me? I SHOULD be graduating this year, as long as my financial aid works out like it should And if I graduate, then I SHOULD be moving to Florida. That’ll be awesome! I would love to get pregnant, but who knows if that’ll happen. Some of my best friends are pregnant or are trying to get pregnant, again leaving me in the dust L It’s all good though. I have my kitties and puppy for now. And Lillie, who possibly will be spending more time with us in 2009 (yay!!!).
And I’m going to learn something new. A few years ago I crossed Pilates off my list, and another year yoga. I own a guitar and a keyboard but can’t play either – maybe I’ll make one of those my New Thing for 2009? I’ll let you know how that works out!
Well, I’m off to finish the first day of the new year. So that exactly one year from today, I can blog about all the stuff I DIDN’T cross off my 2009 list. It’ll probably include most of 5 novels, 12 shorts, guitar/piano… you get the picture.
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